Author unknown
We gotta get rid of those turbines. They’re ruining aviation and our hearing.
A turbine is too simple minded, it has no mystery. The air travels through it in a straight line and doesn’t pick up any of the pungent fragrance of engine oil.
Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from “OFF” to “START” and then remember to move it back to “ON” after a while. My PC is harder to start.
Cranking a round engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have to seduce it into starting. On some planes, the pilots aren’t even allowed to do it.
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a lady-like poof and start whining a little louder.
Round engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho fart or two, more clicks, a lot more smoke and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It’s a GUY thing…
When you start a round engine, your mind is engaged. Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan: useful, but hardly exciting.
When you have started his round engine successfully your crew chief looks up at you like he’d let you kiss his girl too.
Turbines don’t break or catch fire often enough, leading to aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention.
A round engine at speed looks and sounds like it’s going to blow any minute. This helps concentrate the mind! Turbines don’t have enough control levers or gauges. There’s nothing to fiddle with during long flights.
Round engines smell like God intended machines to smell.
From JIM RUEL
